The Strong Bond

July 23, 1997 and November 3, 2000 are two red-letter days in my life, because these were the dates, when Roney, now 4, and Ruby, 3, entered my life.

It was in April 1997 that Reena, my wife and I, initiated the process that finally led to the adoption of my son. We filled up the necessary forms and registered our names with Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity (MOC) in Delhi. We indicated that our preference was for a male child who was about 5 to 6 months old.

Around mid-July, the MOC informed us that they had a baby boy and when we went to see him, it was indeed love at first sight, even if it sounds cliched. It did not matter that the child was clearly underweight. We told ourselves that whatever his physical deficiencies, with our love and care, he would overcome his traumatic past.

The nun said that if we were not completely satisfied, we could wait for some more time till another set of children (I hate referring to them as “orphans”) came to the MOC.

“Nothing doing, this little one has been rejected once, we won’t do that again,” said Reena. I agreed, and remember marvelling at the speed with which she had struck a rapport with the child.

Finally, on July 23, a bright, sunny day that will be forever etched in my memory, my dad, Reena, and I went to MOC to formally receive Roney. Over the past four years, he has transformed our lives, giving it a totally new perspective, purpose and direction.

Though we went in for Ruby’s adoption in November 2000, the step was taken after a lot of deliberation over the past two years. Roney was growing up and, when he was free from illness, would like to spend a lot of his time with children of his age in our neighborhood. That prompted us to contemplate on the need for a female child, aged around two years, who could be a companion to Roney.

Ruby fitted the bill in every sense of the word. She is such a lively child, full of joy and energy, with a beautiful smile and zest for life that lifts the spirits of everyone around. Roney is quieter and shy by nature, but very affectionate too.

The process of adopting our children has not exactly been a cakewalk. Roney is a fussy eater and has little resistance, making him prone to illnesses very often. While I put in long hours at work as a journalist, Reena, who is a school teacher, also has her hands full, managing the children as well as the home.

But the deep sense of satisfaction and joy it has given us has provided more than adequate compensation for all those troubles. Moreover, it is our firm conviction that we would not have succeeded in our efforts unless Almighty had blessed our efforts in this direction.

The strong bond which we – with our many imperfections – have developed with Roney and Ruby has taught us that genes and blood alone need not be sole binding factors between parents and children. And while we ourselves are still learning about parenthood, it has certainly been an extremely fulfilling experience.